Stupid old fartarse bag

Book # 9:

I was expecting to like this book. It was an easy read about a “30-something Singleton” from London, who starts off the book listing her New Years resolutions. Like most of us, she doesn’t really succeed at keeping those resolutions (this year I followed through with 3 of mine!)

She swears off misogynists, chauvinists, emotional fuckwits, commitment phobics, etc. etc. She doesn’t last long. On January 5th her boss and big time D-bag, Daniel Cleaver, starts flirting with her.

Anyway, again I watched the movie before reading the book…but I haven’t watched the movie in a long, long, time (and I don’t own it). So I thought I would give the story a fresh start in my head. I was up for a laugh, because on the corner of my book (the library’s book), it says “funny!” -USA Today…I guess that’s why I don’t read USA today, lol.

She pissed me off from the very beginning…ok, not the very beginning but the second entry. Since when is 130 pounds considered obese?? I don’t know how much stock we hold in “mass body indexes” anymore, but I’m supposed to weigh around 130…supposed to. I wish I was 130! That’ll be my resolution next year (next year, because it gives me time to cram in all the good food for Thanksgiving and Christmas, muahaha). Any other women out there get pissed about that? Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know.

Well, throughout the book she was obsessed with her weight, not smoking or drinking, even though she smoked like a chimney and drank like an alchy. She was very self-conscious and desperate for love.

It didn’t help that her mother and family friends would throw her at any available man…including Mark Darcy-A rich, handsome, human-rights lawyer. The two don’t start off on the right foot, both making horrible first impressions. I think if Bridget wasn’t so self-absorbed and maybe had some more self-respect she could’ve gone about everything much easier…but then again there probably wouldn’t have been anything to write about.

In short, Bridget Jones irritated me.

She was selfish, whiny and just plain annoying.

I didn’t actually find Fielding humorous till about the last 1/4 of the book. I did like her British slang.

I just thought it was way too convenient how everything worked itself out…but damn, did I like that Mark Darcy. I would take Colin Firth over Hugh Grant any day!

…Moving on.

What was realistic to me was her procrastination, her loneliness, and her drunken conversations/counseling with friends. I think “Shazzer” or Sharon, was my favorite of her friends, besides Tom (her gay bff), because she would just go on these crazy, angry rants about men…even though sometimes they were a little delusional.

The characters were the best part of the book, not the story. I even found Daniel Cleaver humorous, even though he was a total ass.

Like I said, the ending was a little too convenient, but I guess I’m glad she’ll have someone who really loves her.

I don’t think I can read the other books.

Anyone else read this? I want to know if I’m not the only who felt this way!

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One thought on “Stupid old fartarse bag

  1. Nope, I don’t think I could even start that book, let alone complete it. I usually like girly rom-com movies, but I didn’t like Bridget Jones much at all. I would rather watch Notting Hill for the billionth time than watch Bridget Jones again.

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